Serenity Interactive - The Fear Factor

The Nature of Fear

J:         
Hi!  Would like to talk about fear
U:
Ok. What about it

J:
I am not nervous. As in when I sing etc I am very confident...  not that kind of fear … but a deeper fear... so what is fear?

U:
What is your fear all about? Existential? Psychological? Situational? Or Just....

J:  
All of it!!!

 U:
Tell me more about it.... where do you feel it most.... chest, tummy, neck....?

 J:  
Tummy I think

 U:
Ok. What frightens you... disagreements.... loss.... hurts.... violence....

 J:         

Disharmony of any kind definitely disturbs me. I can’t function normally till it is sorted completely ... I don’t     experience fear while discussing etc. fear of death is a BIG one. An imp desire is to prove myself as a successful person to my own self and few others... don’t want to die before tat ... first of all is fear an instinct or feeling?

 U:
Fear is an intelligence for babies for self protection and seeking help as we grow we manage fear by learning skills much times we stop learning and start yelling

 J:         

Hmm...I experience gripping fear at the sight of lizard or the thought of a snake...

 U:
I see. And what about the poor lizard?

 J:         

I know a friend who fears authority  of any kind ...I mean being in a  authoritative position still has fear while dealing with  people  in authority like the police etc. I don’t know what about it   but a black out on seeing it...

U:
It is a childhood memory that we carry to adulthood. Right?

 J:         

Hmm... Or a past life one??

 U:
Only in rarest of rare cases.....

 J:         

So u don’t think past life memories have any relevance??

 U:
Somewhat. Koncham

 J:         

O, that’s news... I thought it was predominantly...

 U:
Past life is good therapy though makes you feel justified rather than foolish

 J:  
Ya... truly one can account for unreasonable behaviour conveniently

 U:
Yes...  "I told you so...."

 J:         

So it’s all based on ones childhood and how does one attract a particular childhood

 U:
Past karma determines your physical and emotional makeup. How you use it depends on your interactions with situations. You have a fear DNA but it can be aggravated by a snake bite or reduced by living with snake catchers. If you live with ghost stories, your panic will grow until you realize that these stories were all bluff.

Best to sort out all fears into realistic and fanciful realistic requires risk management. the other requires calling the bluff either way, you need to say yes to facing fear either way, you need to say yes to facing fear and the adult message is 'it is ok to face and deal with fear by fight and flight or stay and play'


The purpose of fear is to help manage our life better, not to sabotage it. Fear comes with a message – danger 


But sometimes the message is an outdated one - like an old telegram to do a reality check is the function of the adult that is what growing up is all about

 J:  
But what is fear...  can i just be scared or is it always in relation to something...

 U:
Fear is always related, even when I am not clear about the source of fear… like fear of unknown, darkness, etc. unknown or darkness is not a problem by itself, but because of the hidden dangers it represents

 J:  
Got that   crucial point! That’s where the earlier memories play a role

 U:
So it pays to meditate on what it is about the unknown that you are afraid of. Earlier memories can help

 J:  
Not everyone is scared of the same thing in the same intensity I mean the childhood memories

 U:
True! Some memories are so painful that we bury them down under. Hence they appear as unexplainable fears and we avoid any reminder of the pain.... like your thought of snakes.

 J:  
So I feel everything is related to pain finally. What is pain.... like i told u abt the discussion with my uncle ... its so painful tat i avoid any remmebrance of it... scared even to see him ...avoid  being  anywhere in his vicinity

 U:
Pain is an awareness of some unpleasantness that has occurred. It helps us withdraw our hand from fire and administer healing a more pathological way is to avoid fire permanently

 J:  
But in emotional issues how does it apply...? Wrt fire there is no guilt   ... how does one deal with emotional pain

 U:
Same way an? Your uncle is fire and you got burned.

 J:  
No... What I said was not ok.  The guilt... the pain here is my remembrance of what I said. Anyway going to the fear part.  Why do I still fear him?

 U:
Because you think he is blaming you.... which are your own perception about yourself projected onto him

 J:  
My guilt basically

 U:
Yes …so simply he is getting the stick… believing he is blaming you when it is really you blaming yourself

 J:         

Ya. That I had always understood...  that it is my guilt. But what if he actually has a bad image about me?

 U:
If he really believes in this image, it is ok for you to communicate with him to the extent possible and repair the damage. Repair starts by healing the guilt first, the misunderstanding next. Don’t mix up the two. We compound the problem generally by mixing up issues. Sorting out is most important here... it’s like taking care of twins. Please one and the other yells.

So you need good communication with yourself to assure yourself that all emotions will be looked into in installments according to their merits. You have to reach out to your emotions and treat them with the respect they deserve. Poor things, they are only doing their job, so don't beat them up. Listen to the message, don't kill the messenger. 


Emotions tell you what is right or wrong in your life. You are the driver, you have to respond by making things right. By taking action, by filling up on gas by changing your tire, whatever

 J:  
So   let me check if I have understood right... lemme take the  uncle  episode....  u are saying  i shud deal with my guilt and to the  extent possible  repair the poor image he has.

 U:
By taking action, by filling up on gas by changing your tire, whatever helps them to help you?

 J:  
How do I deal with the emotions? By not being too hard on them and blaming etc

 U:
They are like dials in your car. They just monitor your condition; they are not doing any damage. It is up to you how to respond to them. They are calling you to action. And you need to choose your action wisely... feedback not acted upon creates problems.

 J:  
Hmm...For instance, if the emotion of guilt has turned up...  I deal with it by looking into all details...sorting and taking the right action...  right?

 U:
Yes. Feedback is for action. And when you do the relevant things, you get lovely feedback. All is in the well…. changes to … all is well. So, what about fear

 J:         

So coming back to fear... sorting out real and fanciful and dealing with it in detail... understanding the danger it represents … the childhood issues... that contributed...seeing them for what they really were. Their relevance and irrelevance ….

 U:
Ya.  Risk management and calling the bluff....

 J:  
I said I want to be successful. But wonder what success really is... when wil i call myself truly successful

 U:
Self integrity is success, joy. When u is able to follow up on what you believe, and you are able to verify your beliefs against reality, you will have made it in life. Doesn’t matter whether you get just rewards.... the very feeling that I was there for myself and for my beliefs is the sweet taste of success

 J:  
Verify belief against reality???

 U:
Yes. Pathological belief in snakes and lizards beliefs are subject to correction. So ok to let go of past outdated beliefs. Better to verify than to carry the burden forever.

 J:         

Eureka  

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Serenity Interactive

Topics of Interest

Personal Growth Pages

Fear      Beliefs      Control Dramas      

Ethics      Renounciation   Expectations

knowing the difference     contentment     acceptance     conditioning

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